Thinking of you

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What rituals would make you happier?
What would you like to introduce to your life?
Introduce no more than one or two rituals at a time
and make sure they become habitual before you introduce new ones.
"Incremental change is better than ambitious failure.
Success feeds on itself."

New rituals may be difficult to initiate;
but over time, usually within as litle as thirty days
performing these rituals will become as natural as brushing your teeth.


(Tal Ben-Shahar, Happier, p. 9-10)

a few of the times i find myself thinking of you:

  • as i wake up, dream images of you mingling with thoughts from the night before -- and anticipation of the day to come. how much more in love with you am i now than when i went to sleep? how much more in love will i be when i go to sleep tonight?
  • in the shower and getting dressed (or contemplating it), replaying yesterday and considering the way i'll approach today. what will i wear, do, say, think that might put a smile on your face -- and remind me of you throughout the day? what experiences and memories and fantasies will this trigger? what opportunities did i miss yesterday, and how will i be more conscious of them today?
  • whenever i check email at a place where we sometimes communicate (will there be something from you? should i drop you a note just to let you know i'm thinking of you?) or my phone rings (will it be you?) or ...
  • whenever i enjoy (or think about) something tasty and/or intoxicating that reminds me of you
  • whenever a word, or phrase, or image, or color that reminds me of you occurs -- in conversation, in something i'm reading or watching, ...
  • whenever i see someone who looks vaguely like you, even if only partially (hair, movements, sense of style) or in general impression ("beautiful", "gorgeous", "sexy", "coquettish")
  • whenever i'm working on, or appreciating, poetry ... any kind of art, really, but especially poetry
  • as i go to sleep perhaps with the words of a favorite poem in mind. how did i transform today? how often did i think of you? how relaxed and happy did it make me feel?
  • when asleep, in my dreams (with you there in my mind as i fall to sleep night after night, i guess it's not surprising this happens so often!) ... or present in my mind even when i'm not dreaming
  • and whenever i experience -- or remember, anticipate, think abstractly, fantasize about -- desire

status check: which do i do regularly? which happen without even thinking about it? what opportunities are there to improve, or add more?