The Wimp Factor

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p. 34: There are five common defensive strategies men unconsciously employ to cope with their envy of women's capacities to generate and nurture life: idealization, appropriation, provoking envy in others, devaluation of the object, and transforming love and longing into hate and fear.

Desire can transform the last three of these:

provoking envy in others -> provoking desire in others devaluation of the object -> valuing of the object, subject, and everything else transforming love and longing into hate and fear -> transforming hate and fear into love and longing

Transparency and honesty (along with humility) transform idealization.

Appropriation still needs some thought, but still ...

This could work.