The Wimp Factor
p. 34: There are five common defensive strategies men unconsciously employ to cope with their envy of women's capacities to generate and nurture life: idealization, appropriation, provoking envy in others, devaluation of the object, and transforming love and longing into hate and fear.
Desire can transform the last three of these:
provoking envy in others -> provoking desire in others devaluation of the object -> valuing of the object, subject, and everything else transforming love and longing into hate and fear -> transforming hate and fear into love and longing
Transparency and honesty (along with humility) transform idealization.
Appropriation still needs some thought, but still ...
This could work.